Assalamualaikum
and hola all.
Welcome
to our humble and simple blog. Meet Nur Zahra Adriana, (usually I call Yana)
and me, Mama Yana.
Honestly,
I don’t know where to start. It’s a very long journey since Yana was born two
years ago. So I’ll make it simple and short.
So,
here we go.
The
beginning: My Pregnancy Journey
Frankly
speaking, I have been through tough times during marriage and pregnancy. The moment I knew I was conceived, I felt
really happy but at the same a bit worried, “Am I able to be a good mom?” “What
will happen to me and my baby in the future?” I separated with my ex husband in
the early of second trimester. We remain as good friends. Life has to move on. I need to be strong. I threw
all the doubts and start to think of the baby.
To
cut long-short-some-unnecessary-personal-stories, I honestly had a bad feeling
since my first trimester of pregnancy. I know something is not right. Mother’s
instinct.
After
get back with my family, during my 6 months of pregnancy I went to a private
clinic asked the doctor for a detail scan. Unfortunately she said, it’s still
early to check for the detail scan. I was like what? I had no idea that times what should I do. The
doctor asked me to come again a month later.
On
22nd January 2014, I came again to check for a 3D scan on my 7
months of pregnancy. That time, a gynaecologist checked on me and breaks the
bad news. My heart stops pounding. I cried. I was all on my own.
The
doctor said her brain has a ventriculomegaly, some excessive fluid on her right
brain and seems like missing of corpus callosum. She scanned again to reassure.
Later she insisted me to refer to HUKM for further investigation.
On
28th January 2014, I went to the HUKM and met Prof Dr Norzi. She
verified the diagnosis and told me some of the prognosis. “Yes, the corpus
callosum is missing. She will have a motor function disorder. She might not be
able to live like other normal kids. She may not be genius, cannot grip and
grab things, cannot walk blablabla..”
Luckily my youngest sister accompanied me that time and hugged me. She comforts
me. “Everything will be alright.” Because
I just cannot hear anymore what she’s saying. I lost in my own world. I was
speechless.
On
14th February 2014, Prof Norzi then asked me to undergo an
ante-natal MRI. After two weeks, on 27th February 2014, the MRI
result came out and she told me another bad news. My heart stops beating. My
mind stops thinking. She found out that
her left eye is not formed and sunken. The right eye is not fully formed due to
the abnormal brain, her left brain is smaller than the right hemisphere.
I felt like the whole world stops moving. She handed me a piece of paper written of septo-optic
dysplasia. She advised me to do some research. She consoled, gave me useful
advise. “Nothing can be done until delivery. But have faith in HIM. He is the
Almighty. With HIS power, kun fayakun, anything can happen. Just keep praying
for miracles to happen.”
It
was a long day. A tragic day that If I could, I do not want to remember at all.
Many things happened on that day. Only God knows what happened. Ya rabb, please give me strength. I pray hard.
I recite the Holy Quran everyday, finding out what He is trying to tell me.
Sabar. Patience. So wait patiently and calmly. I think for almost about 3
months. I have learned a lot. Our past experience is the best teacher.
Fast
forward until 9th April 2014, my eldest sister who also an ICU specialist, just landed from Brisbane, brought me for the last pregnancy check-up at Klinik Kesihatan
Presint 9. I told the nurse, I had some leaking a night before. She immediately
asked me to get admitted to HUKM and the next thing I know, on the next day, 10th
April 2014, I gave a birth to a healthy and beautiful little angel!!! It was an
unforgettable and indescribable mixed feeling. A wonderful yet challenging
40 weeks 2 days of pregnancy moments ever in my life!!!
Nur
Zahra Adriana binti Ezra Ezulky is born!
Adriana's 14 days old
Adriana’s
amazing life journey has just begun. I will
update more soon!
Hugs
& kisses!
Xoxo
Mardhia
& Adriana
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